Girls ♥ Talk

Girls ♥ Talk

My daughter is sneaking out at night and I don’t know how to confront her about it. What do I do?

First off, figure out exactly why she’s sneaking off. I don’t mean go through her phone, ask her directly, using more subtle ways of finding out the information if you need to. Secondly, you need to actually approach her. Having never snuck out before [I promise mum] I don’t actually know the best way to approach the situation but I do know if you are angry it will make things worse. Calmly explain to her your predicament and how you want her to react. Suggest to her that she should be able to ask you to be able to go out and not have to resort to sneaking out. Remind her that you are with her, not against her and try to gently persuade her to see your way. Ashlea xx

Having never snuck out myself when I was younger (I promise Mum), I can only look at this from a mothers perspective. A mother has so many fears for their children and try with all their power to keep their children safe. Sneaking out of home means the protection is no longer there and the child is at the mercy of the outside world. By explaining to your daughter your fears, your concerns, your worries, maybe she will understand the vulnerable position she puts herself into by sneaking out and not letting anyone know where she is. Tell her that if she wants to be treated like an adult (by being allowed to go out), then she needs to act like an adult at home and that begins with mutual respect. When she respects you and your rules, you as the parent can respect her needs to venture out into the world and gain some independence. Natalie xx

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Comments

  1. Or you could hire a private investigator to follow the daughter and find out what she was up to, like the Indian father did when confronted with a similar problem in Alexander McCall Smith’s beautiful ‘Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency’ series. But you wouldn’t need to do that, as your comments here show you are both as wise as the traditionally built Precious Ramotswe 🙂 

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