Guilty Parenting

 

Photo on 13-02-14 at 5.57 PMThere are two emotions I cannot remember feeling very often before I had children: Guilt and Anger. Now these two emotions seem to enter my body more often than I like.

Guilt – what is there not to feel guilty about? If I over parent, I feel guilty. If I under parent, I feel guilty. If I say NO, I feel guilty. This emotion has crept into my daily living and I can’t see it leaving for a long time.

Times I feel guilty:

  • When I am so busy trying to remember everything that I forget something.
  • When I pretend to listen (because I am actually reading or emailing or staring into space).
  • When my child misses out because I haven’t taken enough notice of what is happening around me.
  • When I say NO to something they really want to do.
  • When I make the children help clean the house.
  • When I make the children have an early night because I need some time alone.
  • When I tell my children off for misbehaving (especially Ashlea as she rarely does) but scream too much.
  • When I get annoyed of something little.

Anger – I don’t recall feeling angry as I grew up or in my early 20’s (except maybe fighting with my siblings). Somehow though, this emotions has crept into my life and stubbornly is here to stay.

Times I feel anger:

  • When I am tired.
  • When my children argue or fight.
  • When my husband is lazy (or maybe it’s me being OCD about cleanliness)
  • When my children won’t listen to each other (and me).
  • When I feel like I am the only one in the house who does anything.
  • When I AM the only in the house who does anything.
  • When I am simply in a mood.

Reading my lists, I realise that most of these things are ‘small stuff’ and I have been taught not to sweat the ‘small stuff’. I understand this in principle but putting into practise on a daily basis can be difficult.

I am going to try, from now on, to control these emotions I will let all other emotions run wild) by not letting the small things in life get to me. I will get back to you in a week and tell you if I have been successful or not.

cheers natalie

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Comments

  1. betternotbroken says:

    And when they have faith in you and you let them down, guilt. You are not alone. It is an ongoing commitment to resist anger and let go of guilt.

    • You are on my wavelength, it can be a daily battle to keep these emotions dormant while running a hectic life. I have managed to get through day 1 of 7 without an ounce of guilt ( worked in the morning, came home to work on the blog… Yet no guilt).

  2. Pauline Bourn says:

    Who said it was easy being a mum and wife…tough going some days, over the moon some days when your heart burst with pride, heart broken when a child is ill and you cannot fix and when your child marries, tears fill your eyes with pride and the knowledge your “job” is done and life will never be the same… Enjoy all aspects of yours and their lives and it passes so quickly

    • Great advice. Some days I can go through all those emotions and I wonder why I am exhausted by the end of the day. Even though I have been doing this ‘mother’ thing for over 14years, I learn everyday, I feel love everyday, I feel up and I feel down but the ride has been worth it.

  3. leah hale says:

    Parenting is the one job that comes without any instructions, and its one job that surely sometimes needs instructions – a whole chapter on feeling GUILTY would have been helpful to plenty of mums. GUILT is part of life, it makes us who we are, it makes us shape up the next time somebody makes us feel guilty about the job we are doing or the decision we have made. Its not about trying to live guilt free, its as you say sweat the small stuff. All else fails have a wine xx

    • Great advice Leah. Parenting is a role in life that would be easier if it came with instructions. Just when you think you have it all sorted out, the rules change and you are learning once more. Day 3 into my challenge and both emotions of guilt and anger have been kept away.

Trackbacks

  1. […] rules for all my children but I definitely enforce them differently. Sometimes this brings those guilty feelings back but all my children have different personalities and require different styles of […]

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