Are my children too judgmental?

Jul 11, 2014

I don’t think I am a helicopter parent as I try to let my children make their own decisions on many aspects of their lives. I always let them know that I have their back but like to push them a little to challenge themselves.

One lesson I have taught my children is you can do anything in life you wish, as long as you do everything in moderation. By this I mean, if you feel like eating chocolate, go for it, as long as it is in moderation. This applies to all aspects of life – food, drinks, exercise, homework, socialising and resting. If your body and mind get a little of everything, then you will never miss out, but not too much of anything, then it remains healthy and happy.

Recently I was out at the shops with Ashlea and child No.4 and I bought them lunch. ‘Healthy lunch’, I suggested as they searched for what to eat. Sushi and Subway were their choices, which secretly put a smile of my face. Both wanted a frozen drink to accompany their meals, so I happily agreed to one from Hungry Jacks. What astounded me was Ashlea’s comment when she returned to the table with her drink.

“Mum, it’s very off putting when you go to a place like Hungry Jacks and the manager is overweight. It makes you realise just how bad the food is for you.”

Have I turned my children into judgemental people? Yes, we talk about having everything in moderation as there is usually a consequence if you over indulge (like gaining weight). And yes we talk about the consequences of over eating, over exercising, over studying  and over doing anything in life. I love the fact that this lesson has been accepted by them and thought about. However, it never occurred to me that my children would begin judging others. There may be many reasons why this manager was over weight (one being what they eat) but there maybe other reasons for the weight issue.

Have you ever had a life lesson backfire on you?

cheers natalie

 

Am I too judgmental? Maybe. Personally, I just think I am highly opinionated, but to others, I may seem a tad too judgemental. I struggle to look at some people and not think ‘How?’ because I have been raised with the mantra “everything in moderation” and sometimes, I forget that not everyone has had the same upbringing as me. As much as I don’t want to go around judging people, I can’t help but compare myself to people who have clearly ignored the ‘moderation’ rule.

cheers Ashlea xxx

Girls ♥ Talk

Apr 29, 2014

Girls ♥ Talk

At what age is it appropriate to send my daughter to a concert on her own?

This is a tough question because there are so many circumstances surrounding it. Firstly, who is she going with? If you think the group of kids she is going with are responsible, then I think it goes along way to having a fun and enjoyable night. My concern then turns to how they are getting to and from the concert. Recently Ashlea was invited to see 5 seconds of summer with friends, She was so excited and I was too. It was to be her first real concert. When we talked about how they were getting to and from, I found out the other girls were catching public transport both ways (and this is at night). Unfortunately I was going out and was no available to help in the transportation. No way was my response. I wouldn’t catch public transport late at night without my husband or with a group of ADULTS. The concert itself may not be the issue. Find out all the details before committing. Natalie

The other day I was asked to go see one of my favourite bands in concert ( 5 Seconds of Summer) but decided not to go as I couldn’t catch public transport at night. I can’t tell you how much I wanted to see them but the dangers involved in catching the train at night are too big over people who will come back in a few months. I think that there really isn’t an age restriction, obviously don’t send your three-year old daughter out alone but once your daughter becomes a teenager, trust her to do her own thing. Take into account how responsible she has proved to be and her safety of the night/day. Ashlea

Girls ♥ Talk

Feb 18, 2014

Girls ♥ Talk

My friends and I had a fight but I’m scared to tell my mum, she’ll think it was my fault. How do I approach her without her getting angry?

Okay well first off, unless you have done something wrong, don’t feel guilty at all. Everyone has fights with their friends, everyone says things in the heat of an argument they wish they could take back later, everyone makes mistakes. Don’t feel like you have to blame yourself.

When approaching your mum on an undesirable topic, they key is timing. Don’t tell her when she is surrounded by other people, nor if she’s in the middle of something else. When you know that your mum is settled enough to actually listen, ask her to go into a more private space for a talk.

When you’re talking to your mum, be calm and try and stay composed. Let her know exactly what your thinking and explain to her how your feeling. Don’t start blaming others or try to down play things. Tell her exactly how it is.  from Ashlea

I don’t know many mums who blame their children when they have been in an argument. Mum’s are human too and we love to feel like we ahem helped you in a time of need. Tell your Mum you need her undivided attention when she has a moment as you have had a rough day and need to chat. When that time arrives, tell her everything. no holding back. Tell her everything you said, everything you did and the result. Most mums are pretty aware of their children’s personality traits and can tell when the story sounds  a little one sided. 

Honesty is the best policy and Mum is there to help you, not to make life harder. Trust your mum and in return she will probably confide in you too.

cheers natalie

Our First Month of Blogging

Dec 7, 2013

A lot can happen in a month. Exactly a month ago, Mum and I started our blog. Despite it only being thirty days, I look back and marvel about all that has happened. Since November 7, the birthdate of our blog, a lot of things have occurred. For our blogs “Month-a-versary” I thought I would highlight the top 5 events for the month of November:

• Catching Fire!!! As you all know, Mum and I along with a couple of friends went and saw Catching Fire. This movie was the definite highlight of my November and I know Mum really enjoyed it. As it was something that I had been waiting months for, the film was everything and more than I had wished for. Along with the hype leading up to it, Catching Fire was my favourite thing in November.
• Despite watching the most amazing movie ever, Mum says that her favourite part of November was Melbourne Cup Day. Every year our family hosts the occasion and over one hundred people come. Our house is always chaotic but I can see why Mum enjoys it, our family always loves the party atmosphere.
• Finishing Yr.7. Obviously this was a really big moment for me. All within one week I had finished Yr.7 and started Yr.8. At my high school we finish the school year a little early so we can begin transition for the following year. This can be a scary time as we actually start Yr.8 work and classes but I find it fun!
• A small glimpse at what we hope the summer weather will be. Although it was only spring, our entire family loves the warming weather. We all enjoy going to the beach and living it up in the sun. We love swimming, surfing and sunning on all the warm days November had to throw at us.
• And of course, our blog. Mum and I love writing, reviewing and talking about our blog and everything we have written for it. I know that I personally have really enjoyed working with Mum on pieces that we have to write and have written.

Mum and I have had a really successful month with blog and can’t wait for many more successful months to come.

Ashlea xxx

Our Special Connection

Nov 29, 2013

This blog started as a little bit of fun for me to practise my writing skills. I am currently completing a Bachelor in Professional Writing and Publishing, of which I am two thirds of the way through and I thought a blog is a perfect medium to develop knowledge. While discussing this with Ashlea ( my little mentor), we came up with the idea of writing a blog together. WOW. A new concept had been created and we were both ready to go.

I often look at Ash and can see a younger version of myself. Wrong I know but her passions are similar to my passions at the same age. I love to read…. Ash loves to read. I love to write…. Ash loves to write. I love socialising… Ash loves socialising. I love spending time with family… Ash loves spending time with family.

I could never cope with four children if it weren’t for Ashlea. She helps me through each day with a beautiful smile on her face. Ashlea doesn’t often complain about much even when I ask her to do boring chores like folding the clothes or wiping the kitchen table. She simply agrees and gets on with the job. I love her attitude.

Ashlea has a genuine kind heart. She will often stop what she is doing to help others. As a student, I am often told from her teachers what a patient and helpful student Ashlea is. It warms me inside as I am so proud of the young lady she is turning into. As a sister, she has her moments of losing the plot with her siblings but everyone has to crack sometimes. As a daughter she is a special gift that I will treasure for the rest of my life. As a friend she has true  empathy, a solid listener and extremely loyal.

Thanks for your special connection Ashlea. Lets continue to grow together.

(Hopefully not too soppy)

Cheers natalie

I’m closer with my mum than most of my friends are with theirs. They’re always complaining about how annoying their mums are while I go home and write a blog with mine. I’ve always been particularly close with Mum and things such as a blog only bring us closer.

We think in fairly similar ways so I can have mostly intelligent conversations with her, I say mostly as I have an inability to string sentences together sometimes. We share similar beliefs and values as well. She understands me more than I understand myself, her words not mine, so she always knows what I’m talking about.

Although I think the most important thing is that Mum and I share passions. We both adore reading and writing and are both overly social butterflies. I can talk to Mum about anything because I know she will always tell me the truth and not keep things from me. I love the fact that I can talk to Mum about all my crazy thoughts and she attempts to understand, more than anyone else does for that matter.

My mum is one of the few people who really gets me which is something I will be forever grateful for.

Ciao Bella

Ash